count
参考音讯

【媒库文选】为探求恋爱我们在结交APP上说谎

2018-09-17 13:02:02 泉源:参考音讯网 责任编辑:李赛

焦点提示:近1/4的年老人正在经过结交网站或使用步伐(APP)探求恋爱。这种绝对较新的求爱方法可以让你打仗到少量潜伏朋友。它也带来了一系列奇特的挑衅。

The Lies We Tell on Dating Apps to Find Love

为探求恋爱我们在结交APP上说谎

David Markowitz 戴维·马科维茨

Nearly one-fourth of young adults are looking for love through dating websites or apps.

This relatively new form of courtship can give you access to a large pool of potential partners. It also presents a unique set of challenges.

For example, you've probably heard about – or have personally experienced – a date that was planned online but didn't go well for one of the following reasons:He was shorter than his profile said he was, she looked different in person than she did in her photos, or he was talkative over text but it was like pulling teeth at dinner.

In other words, a person's profile – and the messages sent before a date – might not capture who a person really is.

In a recent paper, my colleague Jeff Hancock and I wondered: How often do people who use dating apps lie?What sort of things are they prone to lie about?

To understand how often people lied to their partners and what they falsified, we evaluated hundreds of text messages exchanged after daters swiped right, but before they met – a period we call “the discovery phase.” We recruited an online sample of over 200 participants who provided us with their messages from a recent dating conversation and identified the lies, with some participants explaining why these messages were deceptive and not jokes.

We found that lies could be categorized into two main types. The first kind were lies related to self-presentation. If participants wanted to present themselves as more attractive, for example, they would lie about how often they went to the gym. Or if their match appeared to be religious, they might lie about how often they read the Bible to make it seem as if they had similar interests.

The second kind of lies were related to availability management, with daters describing why they couldn't meet, or giving excuses for radio silence, like lying about their phone losing service.

These deceptions are called “butler lies” because they're a relatively polite way to avoid communication without completely closing the door on the connection. If you've ever texted, “Sorry I went AWOL, my phone died,” when you just didn't want to talk, you've told a butler lie.

Butler lies don't make you a bad person. Instead, they can help you avoid dating pitfalls, such as appearing always available or desperate.

While deceptions over self-presentation and availability accounted for most lies, we observed that only 7 percent of all messages were rated as false in our sample.

Why such a low deception rate?

A robust finding across recent deception studies suggests that the majority of people are honest and that there are only a few prolific liars in our midst.

Lying to appear like a good match or lying about your whereabouts can be completely rational behaviors. In fact, most people online expect it. There's also a benefit to lying just a little bit: It can make us stand out in the dating pool, while making us feel we've stayed true to who we are.

However, outright and pervasive lies – mentioning your love for dogs, but actually being allergic to them – can undermine trust. One too many big lies can be problematic for finding “the one.” There was another interesting result that speaks to the nature of deception during the discovery phase. In our studies, the number of lies told by a participant was positively associated with the number of lies they believed their partner told.

So if you're honest and tell few lies, you think that others are being honest as well. If you're looking for love but are lying to get it, there's a good chance that you'll perceive others are lying to you, too.

Therefore, telling little lies for love is normal, and we do it because it serves a purpose – not just because we can.

近1/4的年老人正在经过结交网站或使用步伐(APP)探求恋爱。

下一页:【媒库文选】学习,事情,退休?怎样为百岁人生做预备

凡注明“泉源:参考音讯网”的全部作品,未经本网受权,不得转载、摘编或以其他方法利用。

佳构保举

排行榜

  1. 1在华本国人报告“亚博古迹”:生长节拍令人疯
  2. 2可否对美提倡粉碎性打击?俄媒预测亚博核气力
  3. 3金参考|美国正用这个本领吸引环球财产 亚博
  4. 4中美互相加征关税进入第二轮 美专家:对中心
  5. 5瑙鲁不认中外洋交护照引恼怒 南太岛国峰会凸
  6. 6外媒批评:中方坚决回手美第二轮加征关税
  7. 7外媒:中美经贸会商未破争端僵局 停止与反遏
  8. 8美科技巨擘为阻下一轮对华关税多方驱驰 怕的
  9. 9日媒:美挑起对华商业战 摧毁了这个链条……
  10. 10金参考|不是商业克服似商业战:一场亚博绝不